Lil Robby One Day Late Cuz I Lost a Day

Did you know that boys and girls share the same planet? Shocking I know and that's what happened to Robby. He discovered girls and at the same time went a lil duh.

The first I heard of Robby acknowledging the opposite sex was a very cold day. He came home bleeding from his mouth, sobbing. I didn't know he knew girls were different and he would be doing idiotic crap to impress them, but yeah, boys can be none to bright when it comes to boobs. My son at 9 was no different.

Now lemme tell ya, when your child comes in, gushing blood, holding his mouth you pray that he's going to be ok and then you pray for someone to explain what the hell happened when all you get from your son is, "Gunh eh ow." Thankfully, sort of, David came with Robby.

"Oh my God! What happened?!"

"Robert got his tongue stuck to the bus! And he pulled it off and bleeding!"

Bewildered at the reasoning my son would have as to why he would do something so S.T.U.P.I.D. I had him rinse out his mouth. He had taken enough skin off that I needed to get the bleeding stopped as rinsing wasn't doing much of anything. So I had him rinse with salt water. Hey! It works for a pulled tooth!

He yowled. I winced. David stared, unblinking.

"Why the farfignugen did he do this? He stuck his tongue to the bus! What the hell for?!"

Robby stared, tears streaking his face, holding a lukewarm rag on his tongue. And he blushed. During hellacious pain, he blushed. Uh oh.

"David?" I didn't even look away from Robert.

"There was a 5th grader on the bus and Robert wanted to show off."

What the holy hell?

"By sticking his damn tongue to the bus?!" I think smoke came out my ears.

"He just stuck it on the metal part by the window. Stephanie was watching and he didn't want her to know and..."

"Stephanie. A girl?"

"Yeah she's a 5th grader. And Robert..."

"Frack! Combublboobin bombertop! Frack!"

Not exactly the words I used but I was in shock.

"David, go home. Thank you. Robert take your rag and go to your room. You can come out when you're thirty."

"Mahm! Nuh uh!"

"Fine. I'll come get you for dinner. Girls have cooties and mono."

I have yet to get the whole story on why he thought sticking his tongue to a bus would impress a girl. And girls still have cooties and mono. Too bad he doesn't believe me.